Tonight I saw a sea of silver, ivory colored smiles and fields of gold. Well actually lets just say loads of old money. It was my third day being a server for one of the top catering companies in Texas. I have been warned over and over that these are high profile clients that are demanding and can often be rude. Staff members have been kicked out of events because even a certain stare they don't agree with will cause them anger. I chuckle everytime I hear something like that. I've handled worse when I worked with investment portfolio managers. This is a cake walk. So far, all the clients have been nothing but nice to me and funny thing is the managers of the catering companies are much harder to handle than the clients. They seem to have something to prove every time.
It is interesting to be on the other side. What do I mean by that? Well for those who don't know me too well, I used to be in corporate finance. I did the whole sha-bang and eventually became middle management but then quit to save the world in Africa. Well that is the short version but it didn't quite turn out the way I hoped. Still, it was an experience I wouldn't give up for anything.
I was at a mansion today for a annual Christmas party. While other staff members just mumble and groan while they work, I truly enjoy being on the other side. I used to wonder what it was like for the people serving me and all that went on behind the scenes. What was behind those smiles and polished silver? It is definitely a circus backstage but it keeps me entertained. Today I was a beverage server along with four others but the other four could not wait to get out of it one way or another. After about thirty minutes they disappeared to do something else. I ended up being the only one serving wine on a silver platter. I walked around making sure everyone was happy and I typically remembered what certain people like to drink. We had cocktail servers as well where they were supposed to ask guests if they wanted a drink but most were too busy stealing hors d'oeuvres. I was having a good time serving a plate of beverages by myself. I had to concentrate because its not easy walking around with six wine glasses sliding on a silver platter.
Old money. That was the audience today. Denture smiles and ivory veneers. I calculated in my head that each person is probably worth on average $5 milllion and with 175 guests, it was about $875 million dollars walking around the house but we could round it up to $1 billion. Some are definitely wealthier than others. 95% must have been over 80 years old. 10% of those 80 year olds had a cane to help them walk. The rest waddled in. These are rough statistics from using my infamous people watching skills but you may be surprised to find that I might not be too far off. The women's faces were tighter than an overblown birthday balloon. The few women who did not have cosmetic surgery were much more graceful. Random thoughts kept running through my head. I couldn't help thinking that their children must be hoping and waiting for a hefty inheritance soon. We were warned in our staff meeting before the event that many of these guests could croak at any second and we should prepare for emergencies. Isn't that lovely to know?
The hostess was very motherly and warm to all her guests. It came with double cheek kisses. The host was a frail small man but very kind, well at least to me. I am almost positive in an office, he would be beyond intense. He once owned a large bank in the 80's with a sail boat as the logo but sold it to BoA. He holds over a million shares in stock at BoA and plenty of investments elsewhere. The downturn of the economy must have put tremendous stress on this man. When you own that many shares, each penny makes a difference and every dollar is a heart attack waiting to happen. BoA has lost over 80% of its value in the past 5 years. I must have been the only staff member to think about all this complicated mumbo jumbo. Everyone else was just wondering what free food they could score. As a server, I would never talk about their businesses or their personal lives to them. I would love to ask for opportunities but it wouldn't feel right. I am sure with their help I would get into a top MBA school or some pretentious position in their corporations. Darn my conscience. I am just a server and I am there to make their day as pleasant as possible. If by chance they ever strike up a conversation with me, I am always delighted to chat. At my last event, I figured most guests out and was able to sarcastically joke with them. Sincere joking. Not schmoozing. I am as real as they get. Even as a server, I still radiate the same personality as if you were my own friend. I told some guy to behave because he was drinking too much and that I was watching him closely. He couldn't stop laughing and said I was funny. I'm sure certain people have gotten fired for comments like that.
Many of my friends still don't understand why I do the things I do. I don't just find any job just to make money. I found this catering job by accident but I realized it would give me a new outlook on life from the other side. I still get giddy thinking that it would be so cool if I was placed at an event that happened to be my former company's. We do not know the event name until we get to the site. That way it is kept confidential. I agree with this. So hopefully I am surprised one day when I show up serving my former colleagues. Boy will they be shocked, but I would love to see the look on their face. They always knew I was spontaneous but that would give me a good laugh or two.
I like souvenirs. While most of the staff was busy devising plans to smuggle food and drinks, I took a cocktail napkin. It has the name of the host and hostess. It was a great night. Until we meet again Mr. and Mrs...sorry I'm sworn to secrecy :)
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